The world is in a state of complete shock and depression , there was a tittie shown on the Superbowl halftime performance. Oh my God what is the world coming to ?

MTV has apologized, Justin Timberlake has apologized, Janet Jackson is still taking oxygen from the total embarrasement of the ordeal. And I believe that the President is going to come on and calm the nation over having witnessed such a traumatic experience on national television…

Well Janet, come on now, we have bought millions of your records, you can at least give us a tittie shot ; Mike did ! And hey, Janet, you have no reason to be embarrassed. Believe me, you had my mouth watering, took me back to my nurturing days almost. But for a second there, I did want to be your child or at least your man.

The television station is in an uproar over a tit. Everyone has seen a titty before I think and if you haven't, then I have seen enough titties for you, so you are included in the census. How come this is no problem when they broadcast shows depicting African tribes or Australian Aborigines on television ? Titties flappin' all over the place, women breasts feeding, men and women walking around naked ! Is this supposed to deliver the perspective that these people aren't human and are closer to animals, so exposing their private parts is nothing but educational ???

I watch the news of wars around the world and are shown pictures of corpses lying on the ground for days, flies buzzin', heads blown off, burned beyond recognition, limbs detached… Blood everywhere from a bomber blowin' up a marketplace, planes droppin' bombs on villages and little children runnin' down the streets on fire, blood splashin' all over the place… Blood runnin' down the streets to the sewer women exposed, men exposed tryin' to hide from the cameras !

Television shows displayin' people having sex in bed… The cover is just at that point where you can't really see anything, but we all know what they're doin' under those covers ! And so do the kids. And what about gay men isn't showing a mans tit just as traumatizing to them, or maybe not we don't have food in ours or rubber implants ?

We have shows of hunters out setting up for the kill of animals bam. Down goes an innocent deer or bear or whatever else they are hunting and the carcus is exposed to the world with a smiling hunter standing over his prize ! Poor little baby deers, now they don't have a tittie to suck, they'll die from starvation.

Little kim was at the Grammys with her tit exposed but just to be safe, a little piece was covering just the… Oh shit, that's it !!! You can show a tit, but not the nipple… Oh shit, now I see : the nipple is the culprit hear. It is that nipple that causes world wars ? It is that nipple that causes man to destroy man ? It is that nipple that when viewed causes men to go completely out of there minds and lesbians to attack without warning ? So now we come to the truth, it is not the tittie, but the nipple !

I must say if they had a house act on the halftime show, they wouldn't have had that problem. We can't even get on the radio in America, left alone in a halftime show with international exposure, but if we did, I bet you wouldn't see a nipple. Maybe some good singing, great dancing and big gospel choirs or something but no nipples exposed anyway !

We have thousands of strip clubs where men spend millions of dollars a year just to see a nipple. We have the porn magazine industry that is a multi-billion dollar business just to see a nipple. Now, we all know why rapists go out to commit such a hanus crime, it's all just to see a nipple.

Well, let's fix all of that, like we fixed the negativity of the word "nigger", but did we ?

Let's just show nipples everywhere… On television, on billboards, in Opra's magazine, in good housekeeping. Let's hand out little pictures of nipples all over the country like they do in Las Vegas on the street while you are going to ride the rollercoaster at the "New York, New York" or to see the trapeze acts at the Circus, Circus (*). Let's paste nipples everywhere : on cereal boxes, on bra displays, like we didn't know what they're hidin' under those bras… And that's why the patriots lost that game ; they had nipples on their minds !!!

Let's just put nipples all over the world everywhere until seeing a nipple is a common place so that we won't be so shocked and traumatized to see one of them.

Well, like they say they would rather show a tittie being cut off then one being kissed. And Janet, if you ever have a problem with having your titties kissed, call me and don't worry, i'll pay quite a bit of attention to that nipple !!!

MICHAEL PROCTER

(*: a famous location in Las Vegas where children go to see circus acts, elephants & acrobats)